Saturday, June 18, 2011

gCrack vs iCrack (Satire)

I don't know if you heard but Google and Apple are announcing couple of new products which are aimed specifically at the "partying" group.  Google's version is called gCrack and it will be in Beta release mode.  gCrack will only be given out by existing gCrack users.  The product is a graduate of Google Labs; and is manufactured in south america.  It is then distributed via its new partners in Mexico called gNarcos. According to the Google CEO, this is the best thing since sliced bread and Google is excited about it.  Other neat incentives with respect to gCrack are:
Meanwhile in Cupertino, CA, it is rumored that Apple has been working with its partners in developing iCrack.  It is a similiar product to gCrack.  Talking to unnamed sources within Apple, iCrack is far more expensive than gCrack since there is a Service Level Agreement (SLA) between iCrack users and Apple on the quality of iCrack.  Apple will back its iCrack product and guarantees that the users will be "high" when they use it.  Unlike gCrack, which does not guarantee the quality, iCrack is five times more expensive than gCrack.  Apple is also going to promise the following things with iCrack:
  • Create and track orders on iTunes
  • Purchase iCrack using Apple's exclusive iCrack app for its iPad and iPhone
  • Meet the iCartel (iCrack manufacturers) on iCrack using FaceTime.  
Interpol is concerned about this development since they claim gCrack and iCrack is nothing more than crack cocaine.  According to the Republicans, these crack products will help the US economy and bring jobs.  The Democrats say that these type of policies will increase the need for standardized health care and pump money in Medicare.  It looks like gCrack and iCrack are here to stay.  The real winner will be Google and Apple shareholders. It should also be noted that both companies see the crack addict will be ultimately the real winner because it will bring prices downs and the quality up.  The next big question is what will Facebook, Microsoft, IBM and Oracle do?  Are they going to get into the crack cocaine business?